The No Good Very Bad Day

I'm going to chalk yesterday (Sunday) up to (and in the spirit of one of my son's book titles) A No Good Very Bad Day.  We all have them.  Seeing more photos and reading about Japan's suffering and devastation (I can not even imagine what 1,000 bodies washed up on shore looks like) my no good bad Sunday pales greatly to others.  Touting my quest for peace as I have over the past week though I feel it right to write a bit about it and reflect and just chalk the entire thing up to what it was - a day without much peace, comfort and so many scuffles and arguments between me and my son and husband (on my husband's birthday no less) that I have lost count.

(I set myself up for failure right off the bat putting my husband's birthday in this golden light of "Let's have a glorious, smooth day where 'Daddy' can just do whatever he wants since it's his day, okay?")

It didn't help at all that I woke up feeling pretty physically crummy.  I was very, very tired and couldn't think why even though I had plenty of sleep hours (though with - as blogged before - who knows how many interruptions throughout the night).  Maybe it was because I overindulged in the snacks the day before with the sesame sticks and carob covered raisins.  More often than not, when I feel really crappy, it's a result of what I've digested - too much caffeine, too much sugar, alcohol, etc.  On top of it all, my eyes were about glued shut because I wore my contact lenses too many hours the day before and when this happens they are extremely sensitive to bright light - so I'm like a mole always squinting and wearing sunglasses indoors all day. 

Dave was gone when Sam and I woke up at nine (Daylight savings - really eight) having driven backtracking his ride from the previous day where a 300.00 bike jersey blew off his bike during a 70 mile ride in hopes of finding it.  Within the first 10 minutes or so of Sam and I being awake we were arguing over what has lately become a daily occurrence in our home at least once: a meal.  Sam: "I'm hungry:" Me. "What do you want?" (First mistake thank you very much all those parenting books and advice givers over the past 5 years encouraging choice).  Sam: "I don't know".  And, so begins the dance of every suggestion resulting in whining negative responses until finally Sam decides what he wants I'm not willing to give him as his first and most important meal of the day: Cheeze-Its (Second mistake introducing him to such Cheeze-Its and continuing having them in my pantry).  Hardly awake and without my green tea giving me my only burst of caffeine for the day and in the first few minutes arguing with my angry child. 

Getting past that and moving on to waiting for Birthday Man/Dad to cross the threshold to go to church with us (which I am completely not motivated to do - but Dave has only accompanied us once and has left a note volunteering to and ride his bike later in the afternoon).  I use every bit of energy it seems to take a shower and dress and when Dave finally appears after ten, it's with phone in hand and on a business call.  Being in the mood I'm in already, and having just gotten upset that a business person called us the night before (Saturday night at 9:00 - don't these people have lives?) I was not happy.  Sam had been sitting with the envelope containing his hand-made card for several minutes waiting for Dave to walk in the door and after blow drying my hair and getting dressed Dave was still on the phone.  Getting past that to Sam wanting birthday ice cream cake - another birthday surprise he'd been busting at the seams to share - and now my son was eating that with his dad after having virtually no breakfast (another battle lost). 

Deciding not to go to church but tool around Yellow Springs looking at an old, water covered abandoned outdoor amphitheatre and neighborhoods at houses for sale, we were all having a decent time - family time and it was nice, spoiled only by lunch out.  (Mistake three letting the restaurant choice be driven by Sam wanting pizza to eat and not wanting to fight...who are the adults and who is the child you ask?  Yes.  Me too). 

Of course pizza was not eaten without a battle and parent's got mad at child and each other.  At home, Birthday Man/Dad took a one hour nap while I tried to find things to do without turning on the television, which I turned on eventually, with Sam.  Birthday Man/Dad went on his bike ride at 3:30 and during the course of that whole time - nap until Bike Man's return - I can't count the number of small riffs between me and whining child son. 

I fed Sam and me an hour before Dave returned (actually, okay as Sam ate 5 of the 6 chicken nuggets - demanding first to see the natural food's box they were packaged in - and 4 of his mandarin oranges) and made Dave a broiled chicken salad for when he got back.  About 20 minutes before Dave got back from his 3 hour ride, Sam, probably exhausted as I from all the day's head butting, fell asleep on the couch and stayed that way for nearly 2 hours. 

Dave agreed to take Sam to hockey solo tonight while I go to a Level 2 Hatha yoga class here in - you guess it - Yellow Springs, as well as to get Sam off to bed without my help.  I left the two of them and read all the female parts to the entire play The God of Carnage aloud (while silently filling in the male roles) as well as last week's Hollywood Reporter before going to sleep - which was after Dave and Sam (an earlier attempt to put Sam to bed failed as he was completely wired from having a two hour nap!)

When I woke up this morning, Dave and I were both determined to be completely positive with Sam and let go of the previous day's melees - chalking it up as I mentioned before to just an off day.  He took him to school.  I had tea and browsed the Internet on my iPad.  Received a call from a woman who I spoke to at length about teaching a group of her clients voice over, did some yoga and meditation and recorded an article for the website for the blind Assistive Media Dot Com.  Sometimes things just don't work right emotionally between you and the people you are in relationship with - no matter how much every time there's a riff or argument you think, "Okay, let's try to have a good day going forward" that good day refuses to come.  The key I have found - and real blessing - is that every day is a new chance for renewal for mind, body and spirit.  Sometimes that thinking can be applied to every moment, and sometimes not.  It's there though, like peace, waiting to be accessed and not given up on. 

(PS - Dave did not find his jersey and my eyes have returned to normal).